


Forget the past

by The_GarbageWillDo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Awkwardness, Background GingerRose, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben show equal protectiveness, Ben would kill for Rey, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Extremely protective Rey, F/M, Family Fluff, Finnpoe - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Visions, Happy Ending, Huxrose, Internal Conflict, Kids, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren is dead by chapter three, Morning Cuddles, Pregnancy, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, Sharing a Bed, Soft Ben Solo, a smile is worth a thousand words, background stormpilot, dont worry Ben kills him, it’s not what you’re expecting, just read it, little kids are overly dramatic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:47:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24698566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_GarbageWillDo/pseuds/The_GarbageWillDo
Summary: THANK YOU for reading this, if you do that is. don’t mind my scatterbrained writing. I might change the chapter count, but idk. Also if there’s any thing I mess up on lmk please. now that I have the first chapter done my posting will be more consistent. Again thank you for taking the time to read.My mind is all over the place bare with me.Rey and Ben wake up on Naboo in a slightly different version of what Rey saw when she and Ben touched hands. Some of the people that they know are there too, but different, at first they’re trying to leave but after a while, the idea of leaving starts to seem less important. That’s where the name comes in. they’re going to have to choose to either leave and resume their positions on opposite sides of a war, or stay and forget about what happened in the past to make their current present. The war never happened because Ben never turned. Rey never left Jakku because she never found the droid because the droid never had the map because Luke never ghosted. Rey and Ben still find each other because they are connectedI’m terrible a summarizing things, sorry -\_[0~0]_/-Find me on Twitter @_SithHappens_ for updates and to vote on things (or to just talk…)
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 20
Kudos: 59





	1. only a dream?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben wake up in a dream?  
> There are two kids there, they assume they are theirs.  
> Rey passes out which is weird if she’s in a dream.  
> And why is Ben there?

Rey woke up on the ground somewhere laying in a field of grass. It was late afternoon judging by the pink and purple colors that the setting sun painted the sky with. She didn’t recognize her surroundings. this definitely wasn’t the resistance base, it was to open and bright and it didn’t smell like fighter fuel. Where ever she was though, it was beautiful, like nothing she hadn’t ever seen before. Fields of bright green grass and wildflowers, lakes that reflected the colors of the sun set on the horizon and fell down into cascading waterfalls, tall white buildings with dome shaped roofs. A little ways away she saw two kids running around laughing and playing, it brought a smile to her face. Knowing that whoever these kids were, they were getting to have a childhood. It made her think of her days on Jakku as a kid, hoping that her being was a mistake, that one day her parents would come back for her. She looked away from the kids, not wanting to start crying in the middle of some field somewhere like a crazy person. When she turned around she realized she was not alone there. 

“Ben” she hoped her voice didn’t sound too much like she was going to cry, but she knew it did. He just stood there, looking at her, as if her was trying to see into her very soul. 

“I know this place” He said as he broke eye contact, and she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “I don’t remember the name though, I think it’s called Naboo, but I’m not sure” 

the way he said it so calmly was unsettling in a way. The realization that she had no clue where she was, or how she got here. Was she dreaming, she had to be, it was the only way to explain this, but why was he here. 

His attention was now focused on the kids playing a few feet away from them. No longer interested he looked back at her. 

“Why didn’t you kill me when you had the chance?” His tone had suddenly changed to one that sent pins and needles down her spine. She backed away from him. He was scanning her face as if he could tell what she was thinking just by her expression alone. “You could have, so why didn’t you?” 

She didn't answer, she just looked at him.

“You can’t, can you?” He moved closer to her. she wanted to move, but she couldn’t. She tried to look for anyone that could help her when she saw the the two kids were now standing next to them.

they looked back and forth between them. One of them, the girl started taping Ben. He looked down at her and looked back at Rey. Rey realized that she looked like her , the only difference is that her hair was black but it was done up the same way as hers. She looked over at the boy who looked exactly like Ben, but with brown hair. She looked back at Ben who seemed to be coming to the same conclusion as her. Fear set in at this point, he had released her forgetting about his previous goal, and had now focused his attention completely on the two children standing in front of them. 

“Ben?” She was trying to get his attention, but it was as if she wasn’t even there anymore. He knelt down on the ground so that he was eye level with them, and he looked at Rey. Any and all traces of anger he had a few moments ago were gone he reached a hand out to her asking her to join him on the ground. She sat down but chose not to take his hand. They sat there for a moment in silence. It was broken by the boy asking what was for dinner. Before she could answer everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are amazing.  
> Thank for reading my randomness..  
> And make sure to uhh stay safe out there and umm yeah stuff....
> 
> Also should I keep the chapters short, or make them longer?
> 
> Please find me on Twitter to vote on names for the kids   
> @Bad_SithHappens.


	2. Trust me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t a dream  
> For now Rey seems to be accepting her current situation.  
> Ben shares what he actually saw when he and Rey touched hands, but Rey isn’t so sure he’s telling the truth.

Rey work up in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar place, with two small unfamiliar people laying on either side of her sound asleep. Ben was no where to be seen, which she supposed was a good thing considering she not sure if she could have handled anyone else right now, and she definitely would not have been thrilled to wake up with him in the same bed as her. It was bad enough that there were two kids here that she assumed were somehow hers. Kids whose names she didn’t even know. 

She had half expected to wake up back in reality, back with the resistance, in her bed, in her room. She wanted to see people that she knew, recognized, and didn’t have a small desire to kill. She wanted to be back in the dusty, cramped corridors of the resistance base. Everyday might not have been certain, but at least everything made sense. Instead though she was stuck  in this fancy, nicely kept room, on some strange planet, with the only person she knew being her enemy. 

tired of staring at the ceiling she tried to sit up, but as soon as she did it felt like she had been hit in the with a brick, no, make that several bricks. trying to ignore the pain she took inventory of her surroundings. It was dark which didn’t make it easy. From what she could tell in the darkness the room was beautiful. D efinitely nicer than anywhere she had ever been and or imagined being. 

She looked around for a door. Maybe she could make a run for it, but she didn’t see how that was possible without waking them up. She looked at both of them, they looked so innocent, peaceful. Even if she could get up, how could she leave them? They thought that she was their mother. Leaving would crush them. She knew that from experience, and being abandoned was a feeling she knew all to well. There was no way she was going to introduce that feeling to them, and she would do everything in her power to make sure that they never felt the same pain that she did. One of them looked up at her, it was the girl, she felt bad not knowing their names. Even though she knew it wasn’t her fault, it still felt wrong. 

“Mommy?” She sat up so that she could lean her head on her. Rey couldn’t stop herself from giving her a small comforting smile. She pulled her into a hug, and kissed the top of her head,  and in that moment she knew that even if they weren’t actually hers, she would do anything to protect them. For now this was her family. Maybe not the family she was looking for, but it was hers nonetheless. Even if _he_ was part of it. At one point that didn’t seem like such a bad idea, but now, she wasn’t so sure. 

she was completely lost in her own world holding onto her daughter, _her_ daughter. The idea of that seemed so strange, foreign, but she was her daughter. Unless she had imagined her calling her mommy. The idea of being “mommy” to anyone also felt weird, but she supposed she could get used to it. The title was a lot nicer than other names she had been called in the past that was for sure.

The door opened and someone stepped in. Not bothering to look up, she already knew who it was before he even stepped in the room.

“Rey, are you awake?” The amount of concern in his voice seemed pretty ironic, considering the last time they talked if she was remembering correctly, he was basically threatening her.

”yes” she was trying to keep her voice low in an attempt not to wake anyone up. He moved over to the side of the bed. 

“You’v been out since this afternoon.” He was trying to make eye contact, but she refused to meet his gaze, or even look in his general direction. Instead she simply “shooshed” him.

”Rey, look at me.” He didn’t exactly raise his voice, but it wasn’t definitely more commanding, and not at all as gentle as it hat been a few moments ago. What he was about to say was important, he needed her to be paying full attention to what he was going to tell her. 

“Please?” His voice had returned to what it hadn’t sounded like before. No longer commanding, but instead it almost sounded pleading. 

Reluctantly she looked at him. He was kneeling on the ground at the side of the bed. she couldn’t see his face very well, but from what she could see she knew what ever it was that he had to say, it was important. 

”Rey, when we touched hands, I lied about what I saw.” He now had her full attention, and he was fully aware of that fact. “Yes I saw you turn and join me, but then I saw something else. I saw this, a future.” He paused and looked at the children still sleeping unaware that anything was wrong and then looked back at her. “A family.” Rey sat there motionless, unsure of whether he was telling the truth or not.

”what’s going on? Why is there so much noise?” Both of them looked over to see that the boy was now awake, and while Rey was distracted Ben got up onto the bed next to her. Rey gave him a questioning look, but he only smiled, she wasn’t sure if she had actually ever seen him smile before, a real smile. 

“It’s okay, go back to sleep.” She watched as the boy, who’s name she still didn’t know made his way across the bed to go sit next to Ben. Looking satisfied with how he had positioned himself, he instantly fell back to sleep. 

”I saw this too.” She looked at him still shocked about what he had said. “but why are we here? Why are are we in our vision?” 

”I don’t know.” He was shaking his head. “But I think there are worse places we could have ended up.” 

”as much As I don’t want to say it, I suppose you’re right” she didn’t even have to look at him to know he had a smirk on his face. Not wanting to talk anymore she leaned back onto the head of the bed and put her head on his shoulder. There really wasn’t any point in fighting with him right now, and besides she couldn’t, for the sake of _their_ kids. Out of all the things Rey had come to terms with the idea of _their_ kids had to be the hardest to comprehend. Right now though, all she wanted to do was go back to sleep, and so that’s exactly what she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thoughts and opinions.  
> Kudos and comments are amazing.  
> I’ll be posting a poll on Twitter @Bad_SithHappens for names, because they really need them XD. Sooo I think that’s all.... oh and remember you might think your day isn’t going well, but remember it can’t be going as bad as Anikins at the end of RotS.


	3. Trust and promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben share a bed (is it just me or does that rhyme?)   
> And some trust is established and promises are made. This chapter might seem kind of pointless now, but it won’t Ben later, trust me.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The kids didn’t fit well in this chapter, plus I want to be able to have names for them before I bring them back..
> 
> See end of chapter for more notes

There was golden sunlight pouring in through the glass door that led to balcony. Both of the kids were gone now, and it was just her and Ben, _Ben._ Getting up wasn’t an option, unless she wanted to end up waking him up that is. Staying here though was not an option she was fond of either. She tried to move, but it only caused him to tighten his grip around her. As far as she could tell, there were only two options; option one stay here, option two push him off the bed. The first one wasn’t the preferable option, but the second one, she wasn’t sure she could exactly execute due to the fact that he was well, massive.

Much to her chagrin, it was starting to look like option one was the only choice that seemed the least chaotic. There was of course option three taping him on the shoulder and asking him politely if he would kindly let go of her, and get as far away from her as possible, but that probably wasn’t the best way to go about it either, or the nicest.

Even though she wasn’t thrilled about her current predicament, she had to admit it was kind of nice waking up being held in someone’s arms. Even if that someone was him, Kylo Ren, her sworn enemy. No, this wasn’t Kylo Ren though this was Ben Solo. She wasn’t sure if he had done this knowingly, or if they just ended up like this. If she was being honest with herself, she liked the first one better.

Finally coming to terms with that fact that she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, she let go, she even let some of her mental barriers in her mind come down. She never realized just how much energy she was putting in to keeping them there, and now that they were down she didn’t know if she could put them back up. Just like she was afraid would happen she felt him in her mind, only this time he wasn’t digging through her memories. He was just, there. It didn’t stop her however from panicking and frantically trying to put the walls back up. He kept trying to tell her something, but she wasn’t paying attention. She wasn’t even looking at him, her were closed as tightly as possible, and she was using all of her strength to try and push him away.

”let go of me!” “Now!” 

“It’s okay, Rey.” This time she finally listed and looked up at him. Her face was streaked with tears. Her face looked exactly like it had when he asked her to join him. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead before tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear. He traced down the side of her face, wiping the tears off of her cheek.

“I promise I will never hurt you like that again, Rey.” He made sure to sound as sincere as possible with this vow to her. 

Maybe he was seeing things, but he was sure he had seen the smallest smile grace her lips just then. He wrapped his arms back around her, and as soon as he did she instantly relaxed. Her breathing slowed down some, and he was pretty sure she was asleep again.

Seeing her like that brought him back to when he offered her what _he_ thought was everything. It wasn’t until last night though, when he saw her sitting with her _daughter_ that he realized that it wasn’t everything to her. That wasn’t the kind of life she wanted. This was what she wanted. This was _her_ everything. Having a family, a place where she belonged. He knew she couldn’t have had that if she had joined him. It wouldn’t have been fair to them. He knew what it was like to have parents that were to preoccupied with their own agendas to pay attention to their child. He couldn’t think about that right now though. It wasn’t like it really mattered right now. All that mattered was what he had in front of him, and that was Rey who had felt comfortable _enough_ to let some of her walls down. Even though she freaked out for a minute she calmed down and didn’t put them back up, in fact he was pretty sure she had let them all down. Maybe he hadn’t lost all of her trust, maybe he hadn’t driven away the last person in the galaxy that gave a damn about him. He looked over to check the time being careful not to wake Rey up, he didn’t want to, unless he had to. Which judging by the time would be soon. They had two kids they had to keep alive after all. That finally thought let him fall back asleep with a smile, something he was positive he had never done before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I put a little Easter egg in there from something Daisy once said about Adam/Kylo Ren. Let me know if you got it.   
> Follow me on Twitter @Bad_SithHappens to vote on names for the two kiddos and to get updates on new chapters, other polls, etc. 
> 
> If I have any spelling/grammar errors please tell me. I accept constructive criticisms it helps me grow my knowledge in writing..... 
> 
> Thank you for kudos and comments, they really mean a lot to me. Even just saying “hey” let’s me know you’re reading this.. UwU. Have a amazing day/afternoon/night


	4. One fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a little over two months and they still don’t know what is going on. Tbh they had kinda stopped trying to figure it out, and just feel in with a the daily routine,  
> visitors??  
> Pretend couple???  
> Is the closeness really just for show????  
> Is sharing a bed completely necessary?????  
> Morning is always something to look forward to.. ;)  
> But fighting ruins it all.......
> 
> Oh and kids know all....... @-@.. pure facts.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I like soft fluffiness [~_~]  
> Correction, EXTREMELY SOFTY WAFTY FWUFFINESS! (O.O)  
> writing too much conflict makes me hurt....  
> But I wrote some anyways...................

They had been there for almost three months, trying to act as normal as possible, which was pretty hard. Luckily their first day there the kids were fighting, which allowed them to find out their names. The fact that they kept a safe distance from each other though, showed. People that they were apparently friends with would ask them if they were fighting or something because they seemed off. Apparently they were usually inseparable, and never as agitated as they were acting lately The people who seemed to notice it the most though were _their_ kids. They didn’t really care what their _friends_ thought, but their kids?

They started acting closer with each other, but they still seemed really awkward and stiff. Even though they told themselves it was all fake and for show, every time they said “I love you” deep down they longed for it to be real. they knew however what they shared every morning wasn’t. Even if neither of them wanted to admit it. At first Rey had wanted to sleep in the guest room, but Ben convinced her not to. The reason being that it would seem weird for them to be in separate rooms. She reluctantly agreed as long as he stayed on his side of the bed. By morning though they would always end up in the middle of the bed with his arms wrapped around her, and her fitting in perfectly, like two puzzle pieces. 

Since they had been there Rey had noticed a _change_ in Ben. She could see it the way he acted, and feel it through their bond. Where there used to be random spikes of anger and rage, there was now balance. Unfortunately she had a feeling that might all end later that day on account of who would be visiting, and staying for an entire week. 

Rey was was watching another one of Bens comical attempts of trying to teach Ophelia and Orion about the ways of the force. Today was actually one of his better lessons. Ophelia as usual was asking a question every five seconds. The look it caused him to get made it really hard for Rey to not laugh. There was a knock on the door and both of the kids turned to look with huge smiles on their faces.

”grandma and grandpa are here!” They both went running to the door as quickly as possible, but Rey wasn’t really paying attention to them. She was more worried about Ben, who looked like he might pass out, destroy something, scream, or all three. He was staring straight ahead, not moving.

“Ben?” Her voice was soft and comforting. He turned to look at her. 

“Did you know, did you know they were coming here?” The anger was evident in his voice and on his face, but even more so through their bond, so much so it was making her mad. She nodded. That was when the anger turned to rage. He was getting ready to storm out of the room. Rey stepped in front of him before he could leave. 

“Ben, don’t.” She reached for his hand. “Please, stay.” He was looking at her like he had the first time their hands had touched. It was as if that alone had simply flipped a switch, causing all of the negative emotions building up inside of him to go away. 

“I don’t want to be here, Rey. I don’t want to see, _them._ ” Any evidence of anger were completely gone at this point. 

“so You’re just going to leave me here, by myself, to explain to _our_ kids, and _your_ parents where you had to go, for an entire week?” She had taken on a slightly defensive tone, and had let go of his hand.

”no, that’s not what I’m saying.” 

“Then what are you saying?” Her voice was starting to rise.

”I’m saying, I don’t want to be here, Rey that what!” 

“Fine then, leave! I’ll just tell everyone that you just didn’t feel like being here right now!” 

“Fine!” He was getting ready to leave when Rey said one last thing.

”sometimes I wish I had never found that damn droid.” She pushed past him and retreated down the hallway to their room. Her words left an uncomfortable feeling behind, because he knew exactly what she meant by them. She meant that she wished she’d never met him, and something about that hurt him. 

He was getting ready to leave when Orion came running down the hall in his direction still smiling, but as soon as he saw bens face, his smile quickly faded. 

“Why are you crying daddy?” Ben looked at him shaking his head and putting a fake smile on for his sake.

”I’m not crying.” Rey had come back out her clothes changed, her hair fixed and a smile equally as fake as his plastered on her face. She turned to look in his direction expecting him to be gone. Her smile faded for a moment.

”Orion, come here love.” Orion turned to look at Rey and the back to Ben.

”I think mommy’s mad at you.” He said in his best four year old whisper before running down the hallway. Rey watched him the whole way until he turned the corn when she shot him one last cold look before going in the same direction. It was the sameness look she’s had given him on Crait before she shut the door in his face. It hurt the, and didn’t hurt any less now. No matter what he did he always managed to push her away. If he had any hope of fix what he just broke there was only one choice, and that was to go out there, go out there and see his, _parents._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are life blood   
> Follow me on Twitter @Bad_SithHappens   
> Please tell me if I messed anything up.....  
> Thank for reading.... 
> 
> Does anyone else ever feel like they just want to go home and rethink their lives??


	5. The words can change worlds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well I think the title says it all.. UwU <3

Rey knew what she did probably wasn’t the best choice, but she couldn’t really think of what else to do that wouldn’t have caused him to be on edge, angry, and distant for two months nonstop. It wasn’t like she invited them, their visit was already planned. She supposed she could have just canceled, but she didn’t. She was starting to wish she had though. They’d be finishing up their lesson right now, and preparing for lunch if she had. Instead Ben was presumably mad at her, and there were four clueless individuals now in their home in the midst of what could become a Kylo Ren freak out session. The idea of lunch though made Rey realize just how hungry she was. Honestly she hadn’t eaten all day considering she lost basically all of her breakfast this morning. When Ben had come running after her to make sure she was alright, she lied and told him the food must have just not agreed with her. In her mind she put it off as anxiety about later that day. Truth be told she had felt off a a few weeks after they got there.

She was trying, she really was, and she knew he was trying too. He definitely wasn’t making it easy on her though. Working with him was like repairing a severally damaged ship, only a lot harder, because this wasn’t a piece of metal with frayed wires, and broken control panels, this was a human being. Ships she understood, but people, wasn’t an area she had a lot of experience in.

Seeing Ben anytime in the foreseeable future was very unlikely. Considering pushing people away was something he enjoyed doing,and he was good at it as well. 

She had turned another corner, _kirff_ there were so many turns. She felt dizzy, like she was going to pass out and or be sick any moment. She just wanted to go lay down, hide from everything, but she couldn’t just ignore them. What was she going to do say “oops sorry, were not feeling social today”?

She had finally reached the sitting room only to feel panic hit her. The realization that she didn’t actually know _this_ version of them, the version where they’re not dealing with a war, where their son didn’t run away to join the first order. This was a universe where non of that happened, one where the first order itself didn’t exist. All of this hit her in the face just in time for her to stop herself from rounding the corner into the sitting room. 

It felt like her whole world was spinning. All she wanted right then in that moment was to be back with the resistance, where things made somewhat sense. Survival, she could handle, but family? Family was a concept that she just learning to grasp, and it was proving to be one of the hardest things for her to learn so far in her life. Especially when it wasn’t you typical kind of family setting. Where the mom and dad didn’t just get dropped into the middle of things. This really seemed to knock her back to reality. What was she doing, what were _they_ doing? Why weren’t they trying to find a way to leave? That was when she had to ask herself a serious question, one she had been keeping hidden in the back of her mind where no one would be able to find it. Did she even _want_ to leave? 

She was way to frazzled at this point to even try to deal with what was waiting it on the other side of wall. 

She had been pacing back and forth, probably for two long when she heard footsteps coming down the hall from behind her. There was no need to look to know who it was, his emotions were such a kriffing mess she could sense him from a mile away. She turned to look at him, she wasn’t sure what was a bigger mess, his emotions or his appearance. It looked like he had gone one on one with an entire room, and lost. She walked over to meet him halfway so that she could talk to him hopefully with out being heard.

“Ben I-” he cut her off mid sentence.

“No.” Was his vague response.

“No?”

“No, you did what you thought was right. Don’t apologize.”

“I should have told you though, Ben. I’m sorry.” He was getting ready to respond when he looked up and stopped mid sentence. It didn’t take her long to know why.

“Sorry didn’t know I was interrupting something, Leia was just worrying, as usual. I’ll tell her that you’re both fine.” It was Han. He gave the couple a quick half hearted smile before disappearing back to wherever he came from. Ben looked like he hadn’t just seen a ghost, and in a way she supposed he had.

“Ben?” Rey reached for both of his hands “Ben look at me. _Please_?”

“I-I can’t go in there Rey. Not now at least.” He didn’t look at her when her responded. He was expecting her to try and convince him to going, but she didn't. To his surprise she let go of his hands and hugged, the gesture calming some of his nerves, but not enough for him to go in.

“I know, Ben. I’ll make something up. Tell them you had to go somewhere. You don’t have to go in right now if you don’t want to.” She looked up at him. “I’m sorry, Ben.” He gave her a weak smile before placing a kiss on her forehead like he did every morning causing her to return her own small smile. Before he left he bent down and whispered something, and then he turned giving her one last glance and made his way down to _their_ room. 

Rey stood there for a moment. His words leaving an unidentifiable feeling behind. 

_“I love you, Rey. Thank you.”_ She was positive she heard him correctly and that she wasn’t imagining things. He had said those things before, but this time there was no one else around to hear them. They weren’t being said to keep people from questioning them, this time he meant them. This time those three words meant exactly what they were supposed to mean. They meant that he _loved_ her. It was a feeling Rey had never truly felt before, she only wished she had been able to say it back before he left. She would still see him again, have a chance to tell him those same words. Until then she would have to hope that some how through their connection he heard her.

_“I love you too, Ben.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof I had to do a lot of research for a small part of this chapter.... let’s see if anyone picked it out....
> 
> Comments kudos and bookmarks are amazing 
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @Bad_SithHappens to vote on things and for updates or just to come say ellohay.......  
> Let me know if I messed anything up.


	6. changes and revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> imma just let you read it.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you pick up on the hints in chapter 5?

How did she not know? She had to know. Didn’t she? How could she not know? He could feel it, sense it. At first he didn’t know what it was at first, he just knew there was something different about her. Something felt off on her side of their bond. It took him awhile to figure out what it was, but when he did he was completely beside himself with more emotions than he was able to identify. She couldn’t be though, she would have told him. So he just dismissed it, until one morning a few weeks ago.

_ Ben woke up to a sleeping Rey like he did most mornings, he wasn’t complaining though. Because For that short period of time right after they woke up, they could pretend that things made sense, and that this was their normal everyday routine. She was laying with her back pressed flat against his chest. He couldn’t really remember the night before, he remembered them fighting, and her almost stabbing him through the chest and barely missing by a centimeter. Her falling to the ground sobbing, and him picking her up, trying to convince her that it was okay. The worst part of the whole thing was watching her cry herself to sleep. He didn’t care about her almost stabbing him, he was more worried about the cuts and bruises all over her arms. He to know now more than ever. What if it had been her? He reached to feel her stomach, and there it was, faint, but there nonetheless. His fear now confirmed, he knew he had to change. Do exactly what he had said and let the past die, kill it, because he had to, and forget it like it never happened. He couldn’t risk hurting her, it, them.  _ _ He pulled her closer to him being careful not to wake her up. Eve though it looked like they weren’t in any kind of danger there, he felt like he needed to protect her no matter what. Why hadn’t she told him though? _

Why hadn’t she told him? It was the question he had been asking himself since he found out, or rather finally came to terms with what he already knew. He had planned to ask her about it that night, but the way things were going he figured that wasn’t going to happen. He had to fix things before they got worse from time. The least he could do was tell her he was sorry, and hope that she would forgive him. If he had any chance of catching up with her though, he’d have to run. So run is exactly what he did, only slowing down just before he rounded the last corner. He hadn’t missed her. A small smile nearly graced his lips, but it a fleeting moment. Gone by so quick that the smile never even formed. The realization that the only reason she was still there was because she looked like she was panicking.

she was walking towards him, he half expected her to yell at him, but she didn’t. In fact she didn’t look mad at all anymore. That wasn’t hopefully a good thing and meant that he wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor tonight. Which was something he was not looking foreword to. Considering the massive amount of pain he woke up in the last time. 

“Ben I-” he cut her off mid sentence.

“No.”He felt that he was the one that needed to apologize, he thought it was his fault. 

“No?” 

“No, you did what you thought was right. Don’t apologize.” He had softened his tone.

“I should have told you though, Ben. I’m sorry.” She shouldn’t be the one apologizing, it was his fault. Wasn’t it? He was getting ready to respond when he heard someone come out of the other room, he assumed it was just one of the kids, but it wasn’t. It was, Han Solo, his father. The man he had killed was standing right in front of him. He felt the blood in his veins turn to ice. 

“Sorry, didn’t know I was interrupting something, Leia was just worrying, as usual. I’ll tell her that you’re both fine.”He smiled at the, and it felt like he had just been stabbed through the chest. 

“Ben?” the way sh was looking at him as she reached for his Hans made the hole feel ten times deeper. 

“Ben look at me.  Please?” 

“I-I can’t go in there Rey. Not now at least.” He didn’t look at her when her responded. He was expecting her to try and convince him to go in, but she didn't. To his surprise she let go of his hands and hugged, the gesture calming some of his nerves, but not enough for him to go in.

“I know, Ben. I’ll make something up. Tell them you had to go somewhere. You don’t have to go in right now if you don’t want to.” She looked up at him. “I’m sorry, Ben.” Why did she still care about him so much? After everything he had done to her, she still cared. He gave her a somewhat forced smile trying to convince her that he was okay, before placing a kiss on her forehead like he did every morning causing her to return her own small smile. Before he left he bent down and whispered something. He left before she had time to say anything else. Looking back at her one last time before he went to their room. He meant what he said, he loved her. All he could do was hope that she felt the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo there ya go.


	7. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me soooooooo long, But here it is....

Rey was not looking forward to this one bit. She took a moment compose herself before walking into the sitting room. Leia saw her first and gave her a warm smile that quickly disappeared when she realized it was just Rey. 

”Han said you were both out there. Where’s Ben?” 

“He, had to-“ she paused “do something, he should be back later.” She said the first thing that came into her head, very convincing. 

“I see.” Obviously she didn’t buy it. Rey looked away from Leia to see Han walking over to the other side of the room shaking his head, apparently he hadn’t bought it either. Obviously things weren’t perfect between them

“Where’s daddy?” She turned around to see Ophelia standing behind her, of course she would ask that. 

“He had to go somewhere.” She gave her another forced smile, but she wasn’t buying it either. She was getting ready to ask her another question, Mostly likely where he went. Thankfully Leia called Rey over to her. 

“So he still doesn’t want to talk to us then?” She had a hint of sadness in her voice. Rey had taken a sudden interest in her hands. 

“I see, at least he didn’t tell you to cancel again.” 

“He might have, if I had told him.” 

“Oh, and how did he take that?”

“Not well.” 

“I can imagine not.” They both laughed, which thankfully broke the awkwardness in the room and they fell into a somewhat normal conversation.

They spent the next six hours talking about things that were going on, all of which Rey didn’t understand. News about people and events she didn’t know about. Things they had missed that she didn’t even know they had missed. Only stopping when she looked over and saw thatboth of her kids had fallen asleep. They were beautiful, they really were. There had been several moments like this, moments when a small part of her felt that maybe never leaving here might not be a bad thing. 

“Well I should probably get them to bed.” She said walking over to them so that she could get them to bed. She picked up Orion and grabbed Ophelia’s hand, told Leia and Han good night, and got out of there before anyone could stop her.Hopefully they knew where the guest room was.

As soon as she turned the first of many corners she saw Ben sitting on the floor. 

“Ben?”She kept her voice quiet. He looked at her startled. 

“Rey” he started to sand up he looked like he had been crying, seeing that and knowing it was almost all her fault made a small piece of her break.

“How long were you sitting here?” She asked while trying to readjust her grip on the slipping child in her arms. 

“I’m not sure, too long probably.” He started stretching. “Do you want me to take him for you?” He said looking at Orian. The offer shocked her, and she took a slight step back. 

“You know I’m not completely incapable, right?” He seemed amused by her reaction. 

“Yes, it’s just-“ 

“I know. Here.” She carefully handed him Orion.

“Thank you.” She smiled at him.

They started walking to the kids rooms in silence. He didn’t ask about his parents, and she didn’t expect him to either. 

Rey finished tucking Ophelia into bed, and left the room looking back one more time before turning out the light. Now that everything was done for the day, it was Reys turn to sit on the floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest, and was about to go to sleep right there.

“Rey?” He knelt down in front of her. 

“Hmm?” She was running on empty, while she was talking she hadn’t realized just how tired she was, but now she was fully aware of it

“You can’t sleep on the ground.” She could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Mm hmm.” She had given up on actually sentences at this point.

“I spent all afternoon on the floor, it’s not comfortable.” He said still smiling as he sat next to her on the ground.

“Don’t care, not moving” 

“Okay, well enjoy sleeping on the floor, might be nice having the bed all day to myself for once.” He got up and started to walk away. 

“Wait, don’t leave.” She hated the fact that she sounded like she was whining. 

He walked over and reached his hand out to help her up. She hesitated.

“Well, are you going to get up, or are you going to make me carry you?” She took his hand and stood up, but he still picked her up anyway.

“Hey!” 

“What?” He was obviously enjoying himself. 

“Put me down!” 

“Why?” Sometimes she really wished she could smack that smirk right off of his face. 

“You know, you’re really annoying sometimes.” She folded her arms, and gave up on trying to get free. All it was really going to result in was her, falling on the ground, and breaking something. 

“I know, but if you want to walk that bad, fine.” He put her back down, and let her walk the rest of the way. 

Once they were finally laying down, Ben, of course couldn’t sleep. Rey fell asleep the second her head hit the pillow, and had already rolled over next to him. Tomorrow was definitely not something he was looking forward to, but it he couldn’t just stay in theirs room, and hide for an entire week. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOooo, I made thinking about making the next chapter about why Ben and his parents don’t talk, what do you think?
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @Bad_SithHappens
> 
> Thanks for sticking around... @-@


	8. Sticks and stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooo in this chapter we go back to see the relationship of Rey and Ben in this universe…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it too kind me so long to post, I was going back and forth on whether or not I should jump into the past and show you how the Rey and Ben in this universe met…   
> Let me know what you think, and if I should continue making chapters like this in between…   
> Maybe I’ll just turn it into it’s own separate work I dunno…

Bens parents kept telling him he wasn’t in trouble, but to him it certainly felt like he was, why else would they be sending him away? They told him that he needed to learn how to be balanced in the force, so that he could become a Jedi like his uncle and grandfather. The idea of being s Jedi to Ben wasn’t something he fancied, all he knew about them was that they seemed really boring, and they meditated all day. He didn’t want to be a Jedi like his uncle, or his grandfather, he didn’t want to be a Jedi at all. No matter how many times he begged his mother not to make him go, she wouldn’t listen, she was too busy running the galaxy and worrying about everyone else’s children, to pay attention to her own. His father wasn’t any help either, but that didn’t matter now,because in the end he still ended up at some temple In tan and white robes meditating all day. 

Around five years had pasted, and Ben still hated it there. He’d tell his mother repeatedly that he did want to be there, but she would always just brush it off, telling him that he would get used to it. He was tired of “getting used to it”. Five years seemed like plenty of time to do that, and he hadn’t, and wasn’t going to anytime soon. He was tired of meditating, and feeling searching, and rejecting emotion. “Emotions lead to the dark side.” Is what his uncle kept telling him, it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t want to be and empty meditating shell of a being. The longer he was there, the more he started to hate the idea of being a Jedi, practicing the ways of the force, he felt trapped. 

At night he would dream of leaving, and he’d always see the same place. A desert, littered with the remains of a battle that his mom had most likely assisted in, and a girl, always crying for the parents that would never come back.

Fast forward three years, Ben was now eighteen years old. He was being made to meditate, again, like always, because he got into a fight with another student. The other student in question, who started the fight, didn’t get in trouble at all. Just him, like always. He really, really, really, hated it there. Honestly he’d rather be in that backwater desert wasteland Jakku, that he saw in his dreams. At least there no one would bother him, except maybe that crying girl, Rey, who started showing up when he was awake now. 

“Are you ready to apologize to Mirak?” Luke was doing his usual  “talking to him as if he was a three year old that pushed another kid” voice.

“Apologize for what? I didn’t do anything.” 

“Ben, why do you always have to pick a fight with anyone and everyone?” 

“I don’t, they start it, and I fight back.” He got up and pushed past Luke. “I never asked to be here, I don’t want to be here, so why don’t you just leave me alone.” He stormed off down the hallway, back his living quarters, slammed the door behind him. All he ever heard was,

“Ben Solo, the trouble maker.”

“So much wasted potential.” 

“Unteachable.” 

As well as many other things he’d hear. Weather he was hearing it Friday m behind a closed door, or hearing it said straight to his face. He wanted to destroy something, throw something, scream and yell, and he was going to, until he heard the sound of a girl yelling behind him.

“Lying cheating neff herder.” It was Rey, as usual, showing up when he least wanted her to, which was always. “That one part alone was worth at least eight portions on its own.” She proceeded to throw something barley missing his head. 

“Hey, watch it!” She turned around and looked at him like she wanted to break his arm, and considering how enraged she was, he had no doubt that she could. 

“Go away!” She threw a rock at him. He forgot about his previous anger, finding this tantrum rather amusing.

“You’re in a considerably bad mood.” He watched as she got even angrier and threw another rock at him. If she wasn’t a little kid, he’d throw rocks back, but the last time he did that, all it did was make her cry. Apparently she can dish it out, but she can’t take it herself. 

“Of course I am, now go away.” She had gone from yelling to whining really quickly. 

“May I ask why?” He raised his brow and folded his arms in a way of mocking her.

“This is why.” she held up two tiny little packets of something, presumably food and pointed at it. 

“You, eat that?” He looked at what she was holding up with absolute disgust. 

“Yes!” She threw more rocks “not all of us have access to real food.” He shook his head and walked to the other side of his room and bag of some sort, and brought it back over. 

“Here.” He grabbed a piece of fruit out of the bag and offered it to her. She looked at it like she had never seen fruit before. Her eyes growingto match the size of the fruit itself “Well, take it.”She took it from him, and looked at it like she was just handed ten thousand credits.

She ate the whole thing almost at once, practically chocking on the pit. 

“Thank you.” She looked up at him tears streaking her dust covered face. Who knew that something so small could have such a huge impact on someone. 

“Here.” He handed her the whole bag, the gesture only caused her to cry more. Seeing her like this, realizing that there were kids in the galaxy that had to fight for everything they had, it made him hate himself for being so difficult when he was younger. He sat down and watched as she ate almost half of the bag.

“Thank you, Ben.”She looked up him with the warmest smile he had ever seen in his entire life. She handed him back the bag, he shook his head and told her to keep it. She smiled, and just like that, she was gone.


	9. How?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ummm, sooo, I suck at this…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took sooooooo long, I spilled milk on my iPad… don’t worry, it survived… thank goodness!

There was the smallest beginnings of a sunrise on the horizon when Ben decided to completely give up on sleeping. No longer wanting to stare at the ceiling anymore he carefully moved Rey over so that he could get up without waking her up, put on a pair of shoes and quite made his way to the door. He looked back once to look at the beautiful woman, who by some twist of fate he was lucky enough to wake up next to every morning. 

He wasn’t leaving, he just needed to go, clear his head. It was somethings had done frequently in the beginning, sometimes Rey would wake up and pretend to be asleep when he would come back. She’d almost immediately roll back over, and he would gladly wrap his arms back around her. 

It was proving to be an exceptionally cold morning, so cold that he could see his own breath, but he wasn’t ready to go back. It was until he felt an emotion that wasn’t his own, a feeling of being completely heartbroken washed over him and he ran as fast as possible back. Rey was, awake.

Rey woke up without the familiar feeling of being wrapped in Bens warm embrace. She rolled over expecting to see him on the other side of the bed, but he wasn’t there. The first thing that came to her head was that he was gone, that he left while she was asleep. She sat up trying to scan the room in hopes that maybe he was just somewhere else. Even though she knew he would leave sometimes, this time she let the worst possible outcome get the best of her, and it left her heartbroken. She let one tear fall and then several more followed. Laying back down, and burying her face in her pillow she went from crying to full on sobbing. She didn’t hear him come into the room, didn’t notice that he got on the bed. It wasn’t until he lifted her up and warped his arms around her that she noticed. 

“I thought—I thought you left.” She managed to get out. Her voice slightly muffled because she had her face pressed up again his chest.

“I’d never do that sweetheart, I’ll never leave you. Unless—unless you wanted me to.” Rey didn’t have to look at him to know that the last part was hard for him to say. She could hear the pain that the thought of it caused in his voice. 

She pushed away from him some so that she could look him in the eyes. 

“Promise?” 

He reached a hand up to wipe the tears off of her cheek, and let it rest there.

“I promise.” 

She smiled at him before turning so that she could lean her back up again his chest, and they stayed like that, with his arms wrapped around her. It was a strange feeling, to feel safe in the arms of the man that was supposed to be her enemy. 

They had been sitting there in silence for a while before Ben was finally ready to ask her, ask her why she hadn’t told him, why she was keeping something like this from him. He didn’t know that she wasn’t keeping anything from him. How could she be keeping something from him that she didn’t know? 

“Rey?” He said softly, not really sure how he was going to go about this.

“Hmm?” Was her response. Half asleep she reposted herself in his lap and felt around for a blanket, but to no avail she gave up, and pulled her knees up to her chest. Ben, realizing what she was trying to do quickly grabbed the blanket that had been left on the other side of the bed, and laid it over her. 

“Rey, I need to ask you about something.” He tired again, this time a little louder, taking on a more serious tone. 

“What?” 

“Rey, why—why haven’t you told me?” He tried not to sound too hurt. 

“Told you what?”She was still laying up against him, somewhere in between awake and asleep, and sounding vaguely annoyed. 

“You know what.” He couldn’t tell why, but for some reason, he didn’t what to have to be the one to say it out loud. 

“No,  actually, i don’t .” She was more awake now, throughly confused, on the edge of annoyed, with an uncomfortable frown forming on her face. He was getting equally annoyed, and grabbed her hand, and placed it on her stomach, with his hand over hers.

“This, is what.” Several moments of silence followed.

“How?” It was barely a whisper, not really directed at anyone, but the sudden shock that hit Rey only allowed her to say that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely adore all of your comments, kudos, and book marks...
> 
> Come find me on Twitter @_SithHappens_
> 
> Ive started working on Some new WIPS, one suggested by one of my Twitter mutuals… the other, is a, historical AU, I shall share nothing more than that…


	10. Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh, sooo I kinda pushed this to the side for a while, sorry it’s took so long to update… 
> 
> Anyway… short chapter 
> 
> READ THE END OF CHAPTER NOTES

“Ben?” After several moments from silence in the dark, Rey finally spoke. 

“Hmm?” He lifted his head up from resting on top of hers.

“How– how did you know?” She turned some, so that she could look at him. 

“I don’t know, it was just a feeling I guess.” He felt stupid for assuming this whole time, that she was keeping this from him, when in fact, she simply didn’t know. Before he could move his hand back to his side she grabbed onto it, so tightly it felt like she was going to break it, and she had turned all the way around so that she was looking directly at him. 

“I’m afraid Ben. They don’t teach you about this stuff on Jakku, because it’s basically a death sentence.” Her grip on his hand tightened. 

“Rey,” he grabbed her other hand with his free one. “You’re not on Jakku anymore, you’re not even with the resistance anymore,” he let go of her hand to wipe away the tears that were creating constellations on her cheeks, and let his hand rest there. “You’re here, with me, and as far as I can tell, there is nothing you have to worry about here.” He brought his face closer to hers, searching her eyes with his own. “And even if there was, I, would never let anything happen to you.” 

She looked down at her lap, and let the tears go full force, letting herself be completely enveloped in Ben arms. Enjoying the soft calming kisses the he was placing on her head and shoulders. After a few moments she stopped crying, and looked at him, she knew what he was going to do, but before his lips brushed her forehead, she tilted her head up so that they instead met her own. It was impossibly soft, and didn’t last nearly long enough, hands pulled back to quickly in surprise. 

“I-“ she tried to apologize, but before she could finish, his arms were back around her, now that he had realized what had happened. She found herself being kissed again, this one was longer, and still just as soft.They sat there in silence, staring at each other, as if they were having conversations, only they could hear. The sun was up by the time they decided whether or not they should tell everyone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m thinking about not continuing this fic. I’ve been working on a historical au which I barely have an outline for the first chapter, as well as another fic, which I’m finally posting.
> 
> If you want me to continue, please let me know!


	11. Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the positive comments asking me to continue! <3

Rey was anxious, and rightfully so. Ben told her he would join them in a few minutes, that he just needed some time to compose himself. She hoped it was true, because if he didn’t show up, she’d be left sitting there trying to decide if she should just tell them on her own. About five minutes go by when she feels a familiar presence in the room, and then a hand on her shoulder p, a kiss on her forehead then cheek that then finally found its way to her lips just as Han stood up, preparing to cause some kind of trouble.

“Well, Ben how nice of you to join us. What’s it been, three, no, four years since the last time you graced us with your presence?and now you just reappear as if you haven’t ignored us every other time we’ve been here.” Rey concluded that today so far was off to a pretty good start, it was definitely going a lot better than she thought it would. Ben was still there, trying his best to not leave, throw something or someoneacross the room, or a combination of all three. She watched on in silence as Leia stood up and smacked Han across the face, taking him down a few hundred pegs in the process.

“Sit down Solo.” She yelled in a commanding tone that immediately made er think about General Leia, and the resistance. She tried to not think about them as much as possible, but every once in a while something would remind her of them, even if her time there wasn’t that long, it was long enough for her to miss them. 

“Which Solo are you referring to?” It was an extremely poor argument, but she had a feeling that it might lead somewhere helpful “because last time I checked there were four of them in this room.” He shot a cold glare at Ben. “And-“ Rey cut him off, this was her chance, maybe not the best time, but changing the subject might be helpful right now.

“Actually-“ She interjected as she stood up. “There are five in this room, possibly six, or maybe even seven, I’m not really sure how many you can fit in her.” She looked Down andplaced a hand on her stomach, feeling completely terrified due to the dead silence that now surrounded her. It was Leia who spoke first.

“Are you—?” She could tell by here voice that she was smiling, which was a relief. She looked up feeling surprisingly happy, and excited smiling as she nodded.

“How long?” 

“Two months.” 

“Well, could’ve fooled me, with your other two, there was no hiding it.” She recalled with a slight laugh. Han had finally sat down, but not before giving Ben one more icy glance that was cold enough to freeze Mustfar. 

“Well, I guess, congratulations you two, even though I think you’re idiots for not stopping at two.” Leia gave him her own cold look, which no doubt brought him down a few more pegs. 

“Have yo told–“

“No, we plan on telling them later today with just us.” This time it was Ben that spoke, which shocked the remaining occupants of the room.

“Well, I’ve been wondering why you’ve been acting off, but now I know why, and I couldn’t be happier.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I do more chapters that show the other version of them from the universe, or make them their own work, or both?


	12. No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sososososososossososoooooooooo sorry it’s taken me so long to update, and that’s spthis isn’t a micro chapter… 
> 
> Please forgive me… 🥺

.............

The reaction from Orion and Ophelia to their news was rather unexpected. Orion threw a full on screaming fit that resulted in several items flying across the room. Ophelia on the other hand sat silently in the corner, on the brink of either screaming as well, or crying, possibly both at once. 

“I’m leaving!” Orion yelled stomping out of the room. 

“Oh, and where are you going to go?” Rey asked while giving Ben an  l wonder where he got that from  look. 

“I don’t know, Batuu!” He yelled From outside. “I bet grandpa would take me…” his voice was even further away now. 

“Orion Anakin Solo! You will do no such thing.” Rey said running after him. 

Once Rey and Orion had left the room, Ben turned his attention to Ophelia who was still sitting in the corner now looking for an exit. 

“Are you okay?” Ben asked.

“I don’t want you to have a baby…” She said quietly.

“Why not?” Ben asked. 

“Because I don’t, that’s why…” 

“Well, I think it’s a little too late now. But maybe if you tell me why–“ 

“Because you’ll just ignore me more than you already do. That’s why!” She stomped out of the room leaving Ben on the floor. There was definitely a conversation that needed to Ben had. 


End file.
